Random Negro Stories File: Nick Namin’

So on Saturday I was strolling down by Metro Center, wasting time before heading into my part time job. I see these two guys walking towards me. One of them was kinda cute but I’ve been in such a funky mood about guys that I just didn’t feel like being bothered. As I walk past though the cute one stops me looks me up and down and is like “Can I give you a nick name for the day? Lemme give you a nick name for the day.” I oblige for whatever reason and he says, “Tell your man to call you Mahogany.”

This tickles me because my friend, who also is going through some relationship drama, and I just watched Diana Ross’s Mahogany the other day. We drank wine and ate chicken, biscuits and potato salad from Cluck-U, while yelling at Billy Dee Williams for leaving her when she needed him most. Sidebar: I’ve got to stop eating chicken when I’m sad, but it’s so good! Ole punk moved back to Chicago to run for office. Made me not even want to call my local Congressman for anything else this week.

So when I met up with my friend at Macy’s I told her the story and joked that I was going to go home after work, drink wine and pour hot candle wax all over myself. Those of you who have seen the movie will appreciate that. If you haven’t, check it out. It’s a really fantastical film.

In other news, this guy I know from a previous job, we’ll call him Pies, sends me a text message asking where’s his pie. I had promised him like two years ago that I was going to make him a Sweet Potato Pie because I was raving about it after Thanksgiving that year. So we’re texting back and forth and some how he’s made the switch to asking for a different piece of pie and I’m not talking baked goods here. Men. I stopped texting him back when he started trying to arrange times.

Pies has been trying to get me to sleep with him for the past couple years, but I’ve just danced around the issue because I know he just wants that. At one point we were talking about going out, but over the course of the conversation he made it clear that he wasn’t really looking for anything serious. So I decided to let it go because it would really piss me off to have to go through the same sad story with him, and I need a break from the sad stories.