Friday, March 14, 2008

N****: That's Gay

I had to make a comeback cuz there was some vicious rumor on the Internet that I ain't have no lights and gas and that's why I wasn't blogging no more. I assure you that I have (and did not lose at any point) utility service. But feel free to call your local congressman to try and get me some assistance. Cuz even when they are charging me the right amount the bills are still serious.

Anyway, on to what I REALLY came on here to say.

I have the worst gaydar, and it's probably because I think everything is gay, so when real gay is staring me in the face I totally miss it. But here's the top three things men do that I think are gay.

1. Rocking Dangling Earrings: I don't mind guys that wear earrings, but at no point should the earring hang from your lobe. If you must wear a(n) earring(s) then it must sit firmly in the center of the lobe. I don't care if it's the teeny tiny hoops either. Walking 'round with your baby girl's pair because you lost one of yours. Stop it. It's gay.

2. Wearing Smedium Clothing: Now if I don't think we should be wearing the same accessories what would make you think we could possibly wear the same clothing? I'm not saying that I want some thugged out dude wearing sagging jeans and knee length white tees, but men should not wear any size smaller than an XL, ever. Give yourself some breathing room. If I put on one of your shirts and it looks the same on me as it does on you then your clothing choices are gay.

3. R.I.P. Tattoos of a Male Not Related To You By Blood: I try to give some leeway, cuz I don't like R.I.P tattoos at all, but if its for a male that's not even your blood then you've definitely registered on my gaydar. I don't care that he was your homie for life and that he took that bullet to the aorta for you. There are other ways to celebrate what he meant to you. Write a song, a book, an editorial on why black on black crime needs to stop. Anything but the tatt. No need to have another man's name permanently etched on your chest, it's gay.

Am I on the right track here? Y'all let me know what else I should be looking out for. I'm trying to reduce the number of "girl you ain't know such and such was gay" conversations I have per year. Thank you kindly.