Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Lunchin'

I think this man tried to kidnap me.

We were exchanging messages on Myspace. He said he was off work today and wanted to "bring me lunch." Really? Bring me lunch? That should have been my first clue that he was crazy. I'm not trusting no man to bring me anything to eat that I didn't see where it came from.

We exchanged numbers and I suggested we meet at 12:30, but he signed off before I really confirmed that he was actually coming. So I went to lunch with Super Dave. Y'all know since Iraq I have issues with believing people are actually going to show up. But as luck would have it as I'm sitting and eating and chatting I get a text...at 12:45.

"I'm here" it says. Shit! This bamma really showed up. I tell Super Dave sorry for having to eat and run, but it would be rude to not show up. So I text him tell him I was running late but was on my way.

I call him. He greets me with a French accent. Damn, should have figured that from his name. I'm not a fan of the ESOLs (English to Speakers of Other Languages).

I should have stayed at the Billy Goat Tavern.

Still I tell Frenchie where I am and he says he drove, but couldn't find a parking space. Finally (after much deciphering of his accent...see why I don't mess with the ESOLs.) I figure out that he's near the taxi stand outside of Union Station. He pulls up to me and I'm like well what are you going to do with your car. He's like I don't know and then is like get in.

*Eff what Rhianna said. Please stop the music. Hold up wait a minute. Don't stop. Get it get it* Did this bamma just ask me to get in his car? I must be tripping because I know this bamma did not just ask me to get in his car.

He looks at me for the answer, and I look back at him like he's crazy and tell him I'm not getting in his car. He's like he understands but can't find parking so he leaves.

I walk away stunned that he really thought I was just gonna hop in his car. I'm not trying to end up like the victim of some America's Most Wanted episode. You should be able to do background checks on Myspace. I need to call my local Congressman about that.

6 comments:

Young woman on a journey said...

hilarious. I'm so ashamed to say this...as an immigrant myself (although from an anglophone country), I can't handle the deciphering of what someone is saying through an accent and unclear english. (hangs head in shame). but what i can't believe is that he just took off, not even a "i'll go around the block and be right back". ugh...no cool points.

dejanae said...

lmao
and u lived to see another day

Dave Van Buren said...

thanks for leaving me some fries... lol

Muhammad said...

im glad you aint jump in the car with random negro cuz who knows where you would have ended up

Nina J. Green said...

There is a parking garage at Union Station and you can get your ticket validated anywhere like the pretzel spot or whatever. Dang.

eclectik said...

Ooooo weee you was bein fast
Damnit it's a burden being sexy isn't it?
...I wouldn't know

e.