Do Not Call: Me

So Congress is all worried about people having to re-register on the national do-not-call-list, by next September. As much as I hate telemarketers, even more annoying is being on the receiving end of an undesired late night booty call. Even telemarketers stop calling by a certain hour.

So Congress: I say you refocus your efforts to create a new registry for daters. You could call it the do-not-booty-call list. Hell if telemarketers should have to check their call lists against a registry, I should be able to register my phone number to protect me against unwanted, unsolicited booty calls. I mean here I am in my peaceful slumber and your horny ass just had to wake me up tryna get some. Problem is, I don't want your ass, and all you've done is made me want someone else.

So back to this registry. It should totally be linked to your cellie. These days cell phone manufacturers are pretty crafty. If they can make a phone that locks down when your blood alcohol is at a certain level to keep you from drunk dialing, surely the can lock up your phone from calling certain numbers after a certain time.

Really, I just want to be taken off your 2 a.m. list. Seriously, if you're not tryna holla at me at 2 p.m. to go to a movie, or lunch or bowling, or for a walk in the park, don't call me at 2 a.m. for a romp in the hay.