I’m convinced that God uses my dating life for his personal entertainment. You know what’s coming: another installment of Random Negro Stories File. Yippee!
This one features an oldie but goodie: The Bison.
I told y’all about how since the break-off dude hit me up like a month later, making small talk and I pretty much shut him down. Well since then I discovered that he reconnected with the chick he might be talking to (since I can’t definitively say that he is) just a few days after he stood me up. Facebook gives out waaaay too much information. I have to stop e-stalking people because I always find out stuff that I could have lived without knowing.
Then the other day I log into my yahoo personals account and guess who these folks have matched me up with. Yep. The Bison. So I was confused because as far as Facebook tells me (LOL), he’s still dating that girl. So why is he on Yahoo Personals? Of course you know I clicked on his profile, just to see how he advertises himself and after reading it I wish I hadn’t because it wasn’t worth him being able to see that I had viewed his profile. LOL.
So anyway, because that wouldn’t be a random enough story, guess out of all people the in the world who walked into the doors of my new church home: The Bison, and his “new chick.”
They were sitting in the front row, so I’m not sure if he saw me when I walked by to put my offering in the basket, but as I was leaving I got cornered by a church lady and almost ended up bumping into him. I haven’t seen him since the last time we hung out and I didn’t really want to have that awkward ‘oh hey how you doing’ convo with his new chick just a few feet in front of us.
Oh, and tell me why in the course of writing this post did I discover (on Facebook of course, didn't I just tell myself to stop!) that a new guy I’m quasi dating is friends with The Lube Thief. (Sidebar: The Lube Thief also has a profile up on BlackPeopleMeet.com. I’m starting to hate the Internet.) Like they go back to elementary school. I finally meet a guy in person (at a club) and then my Internet transgressions still catch up with me. Why me? I wonder how close they are and whether I’d have to reveal that I did the hokey pokey with his friend. I need my local Congressman to write some laws on this. HELP!
Showing posts with label The Bison. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Bison. Show all posts
Monday, March 30, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Random Negro Stories File: The Wrap-Up
Wow I can't believe I haven't been on here in a couple months. Well actually I can. Every time I started to come on here and blog I'd just be like well maybe I should wait for this situation or that situation to develop a bit more before I tell y'all anymore of my business.
Well things are pretty chill for the moment, so I'm gonna do a Random Negro Story Wrap-Up, like Congress does when they're trying to get rid of a bunch of legislation all at once. You can thank my local Congressman for the idea. LOL. Brace yourself for a long one.
The Bison. He didn't make it past two months. Stood me up a couple of days before I left town to go to ATL for the holidays. Well we talked about it and he started talking some mumbo jumbo about subconsciously not wanting to do the things you have to do to really date someone so he had to go. I'm done with trying to make someone be with me. Been there done that and not only does that ish not work out well, but it left me with a slew of other problems I didn't need. I gave myself one day per month that we were talking to sulk.
Going home for the holidays as early as I did turned out to be the best decision I've made in a long time. My family kept me occupied from thinking about him and one day this crazy blue light appeared on my phone and in an attempt to save it I ended up losing all my numbers. Bam! Saved from any temptation to arguetext with him about how he was messing up the best thing that ever happened to him. LOL. Oddly enough yesterday he sent me a message on Facebook asking how I was doing. Hmm, barely a month out and he's trying to reconnect. I think that's a personal best for me. LOL.
While I was in ATL a girlfriend of mine came up to visit and we hit this spot called Utopia. Had a few Tokyo Teas (basically a melon Long Island) and partied the night away! It was great. So great we ended up going back the next week. The second time around was crazier than the first! I ended up running into some girls I went to high school with and met up with some friends from my alma mater and some of their phrat brothers. Enter The Line Brother, a former football player stature build of sexual chocolate goodness. Y'all! I had been lightweight lusting after this dude on the Internet for the better part of a year and a half, so when he showed up (and was seemingly unattached) I couldn't believe my luck!
*Ok. Let me give y'all some back story here. My friend, turned college bf, turned ex, turned friend, crossed Alpha in Spring '07. When the pics with The Line Brother started appearing on Facebook I commented to my friend that I thought he was really attractive. He said he'd introduce us but that he was already talking to another friend of his. So I kept my crushing to a minimum, but still finding myself biting my lip over his overall sexy whenever new Facebook photo's appeared.*
So my friend, turned college bf, turned ex, turned friend introduced us, but we didn't really end up interacting until my girl pushed me into dancing with him--literally. We ended up jumping off, because I knew that was all it would ever be keeping in mind that I was getting on a plane back to Maryland in two days. But sadly, and unbeknownst to me there were forces at work against this union. I later found out that my friend, turned college bf, turned ex, turned friend was opposed to it. Said he was hurt and disappointed by our lack of regard for what he may have thought about it. I told him I was sorry for hurting and disappointing him but I never thought that it would have considering he told me that he'd introduce us in the first place. So my friend, turned college bf, turned ex, turned friend and I are on a bit of a hiatus here.
So even though I was done sulking over The Bison, I wasn't done being bitter that I had made my travel arrangements based on thinking that we were going to spend New Year's Eve together. So I was back in Maryland with no particular plans but hoping that I wouldn't be sitting on my couch cursing his name. The night before New Year's Eve a good friend of mine from elementary school, who recently moved to the area, called me telling me about a pre-game NYE party at his house. I asked him what the main event was and he scrounged me up a ticket. Problem solved.
I had this banging green dress that I'd been saving for a special occasion so I didn't have to break my neck trying to figure out what the hell to wear. I paired it with these bronze stilettos, a golden/deep bronze ombre clutch, painted my nails a golden/sunset/sunrise orange, threw in some gold accessories and was ready to go. Only I wasn't going to get my dress all wrinkled up on my hellish commute into the city so I asked my friend if I could change at his place. He agreed. I made it out there and the party was in full swing. He made this outlandishly loud (I'm talking halt all conversation in the room) introduction of me. It was a bit embarrassing considering everyone was in their party clothes and I had just thrown on some tights, a sweater and boots.
Anyway I get dressed and rejoin the party and then my friend starts reintroducing me individually to everyone there. One of his closest friends, who I vaguely remember meeting a few years ago when I went to visit my friend in Philly for his 21st birthday party, takes a liking to me and I'm like this can't be happening two weeks in a row. (Yes you guessed it, my elementary school friend and I were an item for a hot minute in middle school. I really have to stop liking my friends--and their friends.)
The main event was a party at The Park, where they had a gourmet buffet and an open bar. We got there at like 7:30 and I was already tipsy from the pre-game. By this point NFL, which is what we'll call dude since he's a digital media manager for the NFL, and I have sorta paired off.
I fed him off my plate, we drank some more, danced, and somewhere in between there I ended up losing my phone, falling, gashing the hell out of my knee, and am placed in the drunk tank. Lawd. I thought I had vowed never to end back up there. I'll just say intoxication and stilettos don't mix. Anyway NFL is quite the gentleman and stays with me while they bandage me up and make me down like three bottles of water. At least it was Voss. LOL. Finally they let me back inside, we dance some more, kiss at midnight--after asking my friend like a thousand times if it was okay and end up leaving together shortly thereafter.
NFL had rented a room in my friend's apartment complex so we go back there. I remember getting undressed but I was on my cycle so nothing but some kissing and oral delights--for him--was going down. *TMI Sidebar Time: Giving head while you are dehydrated from being intoxicated is the hardest thing ever. I've been told at one point I was yelling "N--a I ain't got no more spit."*
The next morning we woke up and NFL was being all sweet saying stuff like me being the first face he saw of '09 was a great beginning. We kissed some more and talked and then we got hungry. He spent like 15 minutes trying to figure out where the hell we put my dress only for me to realize I'd look crazy as hell trying to walk out in search of food in that thing. So he got my bag that I came with from my friend's apartment and I changed back into my outfit that I had came over in. Eventually we found it in the closet. Really in that drunken state we had the presence of mind to hang my dress in the closet. Wow.
In search of food we ended up at Caribu Coffee to wait for about a half hour for Popeye's to open. For whatever reason we decided that fried chicken and red drink should be our first official New Year's meal. Yes I know coonery at its finest. So a Popeye's and 7-eleven run later, we go back to the apartment with Kitsch in hand, where his other friend and these two other girls had finally stirred. Later in the day I ventured back home, did a quick change and packed a bag for the next night. Once back in city I retrieved my phone from The Park, after everyone and their grandma told me where it was. God bless the bartender who found it and texted a bunch of folks in my phone so they could let me know where it was.
We all met back up to go bowling at Lucky Strike for one of my friend's friend's birthday. Afterwards we tried hitting another lounge, but nothing but The Park was open and most of us didn't really feel like going back there. So my friend, his quasi girl for the week, NFL and I get food at this nearby carryout, drink some more and play Rock Band into the night. Eventually everyone got tired and NFL and I went back to his room again, this time with a more favorable oral experience. LOL. The next morning he was checking out so I helped him pack his bag and we all went back up to my friend's apartment. I got dressed for the day, helped them clean up and by mid-afternoon people had piled back over to play Rock Band before we headed to Lauriol Plaza.
Here's where things get ugly. Apparently starting drinking at 1 p.m., continuing to drink margaritas and sangria at a Mexican spot, and keep drinking once back at my friends place is not a good look. I have no idea how I held it together to get into Jin, the lounge we went to after playing more Rock Band. But I couldn't have held it together too well because I later found out that I showed my ass (though not literally thank God!) and besmirched my good name with NFL. I've somewhat redeemed myself with him, but of course as my luck would have it he says he's not in a position to get into anything serious. So we're just flirting and having fun until my next Random Negro comes along.
If you're still reading this, I apologize for rambling on for so long. I'll fill you in later with more. Ciao and Happy New Year!
Well things are pretty chill for the moment, so I'm gonna do a Random Negro Story Wrap-Up, like Congress does when they're trying to get rid of a bunch of legislation all at once. You can thank my local Congressman for the idea. LOL. Brace yourself for a long one.
The Bison. He didn't make it past two months. Stood me up a couple of days before I left town to go to ATL for the holidays. Well we talked about it and he started talking some mumbo jumbo about subconsciously not wanting to do the things you have to do to really date someone so he had to go. I'm done with trying to make someone be with me. Been there done that and not only does that ish not work out well, but it left me with a slew of other problems I didn't need. I gave myself one day per month that we were talking to sulk.
Going home for the holidays as early as I did turned out to be the best decision I've made in a long time. My family kept me occupied from thinking about him and one day this crazy blue light appeared on my phone and in an attempt to save it I ended up losing all my numbers. Bam! Saved from any temptation to arguetext with him about how he was messing up the best thing that ever happened to him. LOL. Oddly enough yesterday he sent me a message on Facebook asking how I was doing. Hmm, barely a month out and he's trying to reconnect. I think that's a personal best for me. LOL.
While I was in ATL a girlfriend of mine came up to visit and we hit this spot called Utopia. Had a few Tokyo Teas (basically a melon Long Island) and partied the night away! It was great. So great we ended up going back the next week. The second time around was crazier than the first! I ended up running into some girls I went to high school with and met up with some friends from my alma mater and some of their phrat brothers. Enter The Line Brother, a former football player stature build of sexual chocolate goodness. Y'all! I had been lightweight lusting after this dude on the Internet for the better part of a year and a half, so when he showed up (and was seemingly unattached) I couldn't believe my luck!
*Ok. Let me give y'all some back story here. My friend, turned college bf, turned ex, turned friend, crossed Alpha in Spring '07. When the pics with The Line Brother started appearing on Facebook I commented to my friend that I thought he was really attractive. He said he'd introduce us but that he was already talking to another friend of his. So I kept my crushing to a minimum, but still finding myself biting my lip over his overall sexy whenever new Facebook photo's appeared.*
So my friend, turned college bf, turned ex, turned friend introduced us, but we didn't really end up interacting until my girl pushed me into dancing with him--literally. We ended up jumping off, because I knew that was all it would ever be keeping in mind that I was getting on a plane back to Maryland in two days. But sadly, and unbeknownst to me there were forces at work against this union. I later found out that my friend, turned college bf, turned ex, turned friend was opposed to it. Said he was hurt and disappointed by our lack of regard for what he may have thought about it. I told him I was sorry for hurting and disappointing him but I never thought that it would have considering he told me that he'd introduce us in the first place. So my friend, turned college bf, turned ex, turned friend and I are on a bit of a hiatus here.
So even though I was done sulking over The Bison, I wasn't done being bitter that I had made my travel arrangements based on thinking that we were going to spend New Year's Eve together. So I was back in Maryland with no particular plans but hoping that I wouldn't be sitting on my couch cursing his name. The night before New Year's Eve a good friend of mine from elementary school, who recently moved to the area, called me telling me about a pre-game NYE party at his house. I asked him what the main event was and he scrounged me up a ticket. Problem solved.
I had this banging green dress that I'd been saving for a special occasion so I didn't have to break my neck trying to figure out what the hell to wear. I paired it with these bronze stilettos, a golden/deep bronze ombre clutch, painted my nails a golden/sunset/sunrise orange, threw in some gold accessories and was ready to go. Only I wasn't going to get my dress all wrinkled up on my hellish commute into the city so I asked my friend if I could change at his place. He agreed. I made it out there and the party was in full swing. He made this outlandishly loud (I'm talking halt all conversation in the room) introduction of me. It was a bit embarrassing considering everyone was in their party clothes and I had just thrown on some tights, a sweater and boots.
Anyway I get dressed and rejoin the party and then my friend starts reintroducing me individually to everyone there. One of his closest friends, who I vaguely remember meeting a few years ago when I went to visit my friend in Philly for his 21st birthday party, takes a liking to me and I'm like this can't be happening two weeks in a row. (Yes you guessed it, my elementary school friend and I were an item for a hot minute in middle school. I really have to stop liking my friends--and their friends.)
The main event was a party at The Park, where they had a gourmet buffet and an open bar. We got there at like 7:30 and I was already tipsy from the pre-game. By this point NFL, which is what we'll call dude since he's a digital media manager for the NFL, and I have sorta paired off.
I fed him off my plate, we drank some more, danced, and somewhere in between there I ended up losing my phone, falling, gashing the hell out of my knee, and am placed in the drunk tank. Lawd. I thought I had vowed never to end back up there. I'll just say intoxication and stilettos don't mix. Anyway NFL is quite the gentleman and stays with me while they bandage me up and make me down like three bottles of water. At least it was Voss. LOL. Finally they let me back inside, we dance some more, kiss at midnight--after asking my friend like a thousand times if it was okay and end up leaving together shortly thereafter.
NFL had rented a room in my friend's apartment complex so we go back there. I remember getting undressed but I was on my cycle so nothing but some kissing and oral delights--for him--was going down. *TMI Sidebar Time: Giving head while you are dehydrated from being intoxicated is the hardest thing ever. I've been told at one point I was yelling "N--a I ain't got no more spit."*
The next morning we woke up and NFL was being all sweet saying stuff like me being the first face he saw of '09 was a great beginning. We kissed some more and talked and then we got hungry. He spent like 15 minutes trying to figure out where the hell we put my dress only for me to realize I'd look crazy as hell trying to walk out in search of food in that thing. So he got my bag that I came with from my friend's apartment and I changed back into my outfit that I had came over in. Eventually we found it in the closet. Really in that drunken state we had the presence of mind to hang my dress in the closet. Wow.
In search of food we ended up at Caribu Coffee to wait for about a half hour for Popeye's to open. For whatever reason we decided that fried chicken and red drink should be our first official New Year's meal. Yes I know coonery at its finest. So a Popeye's and 7-eleven run later, we go back to the apartment with Kitsch in hand, where his other friend and these two other girls had finally stirred. Later in the day I ventured back home, did a quick change and packed a bag for the next night. Once back in city I retrieved my phone from The Park, after everyone and their grandma told me where it was. God bless the bartender who found it and texted a bunch of folks in my phone so they could let me know where it was.
We all met back up to go bowling at Lucky Strike for one of my friend's friend's birthday. Afterwards we tried hitting another lounge, but nothing but The Park was open and most of us didn't really feel like going back there. So my friend, his quasi girl for the week, NFL and I get food at this nearby carryout, drink some more and play Rock Band into the night. Eventually everyone got tired and NFL and I went back to his room again, this time with a more favorable oral experience. LOL. The next morning he was checking out so I helped him pack his bag and we all went back up to my friend's apartment. I got dressed for the day, helped them clean up and by mid-afternoon people had piled back over to play Rock Band before we headed to Lauriol Plaza.
Here's where things get ugly. Apparently starting drinking at 1 p.m., continuing to drink margaritas and sangria at a Mexican spot, and keep drinking once back at my friends place is not a good look. I have no idea how I held it together to get into Jin, the lounge we went to after playing more Rock Band. But I couldn't have held it together too well because I later found out that I showed my ass (though not literally thank God!) and besmirched my good name with NFL. I've somewhat redeemed myself with him, but of course as my luck would have it he says he's not in a position to get into anything serious. So we're just flirting and having fun until my next Random Negro comes along.
If you're still reading this, I apologize for rambling on for so long. I'll fill you in later with more. Ciao and Happy New Year!
Monday, November 24, 2008
Weekend in Review: Random Thoughts
Hey Peoples! Hope you had a good weekend. Sorry I've been slacking on the posts over here. I'll try to do better.
Anyway here's how my weekend went.
I didn’t see The Bison this weekend. We went to a happy hour Thursday night and we spent the night together. He sent me to work with a smile on my face though ☺. He gchatted me this morning to say that he missed me. Awww.
Enterprise tried to act like they wanted my future first born just because I was using a debit card to rent a car. Bastards. I need my local Congressman to help revise that process since consumer credit is at a premium these days.
Perfume counter ladies are gangsta! I wanted a new fragrance and ended up walking away with two sets and ALL three free gifts they were offering that day and a few extra purse lotions and perfume samples.
So rather than do a stupid random song in the middle of the restaurant like most restaurants, the employees at Joe’s Crab Shack get to do a stupid random Cha Cha Slide in the middle of the restaurant. That dance looks soooooo different when 2520s do it.
Seafood enchiladas and Great Balls of Fire (jalepeno, shrimp and crab balls) are the business!
I need to remember that the next time I need a cameraman in the club to either ask a girl or a cute guy I wouldn’t mind flirting with. Made the mistake of asking some dude that just happened to be around and he ended up harassing me for a dance all night.
Drunkenly dancing back and forth between me and my home girl, and then cycling back through the rest of your friends, won’t get you either of our numbers.
I thought tonguing people down in the middle of the club was out of style.
Some people should really leave the club before they turn the lights back on.
I finally got my digital TV converter boxes, while it does make the picture clearer and take away the static you hear when you have a weak signal, instead you get a stupid pixilated screen and it makes it sound like everyone is stuttering.
The $5 DVD bin at Wal-Mart is the devil. Why can’t I stay away?
Popeye’s put all my favorites in a bowl and called it The Big Easy Chicken Bowl. I added a biscuit on the side and was in heaven. LOL.
Anyway here's how my weekend went.
I didn’t see The Bison this weekend. We went to a happy hour Thursday night and we spent the night together. He sent me to work with a smile on my face though ☺. He gchatted me this morning to say that he missed me. Awww.
Enterprise tried to act like they wanted my future first born just because I was using a debit card to rent a car. Bastards. I need my local Congressman to help revise that process since consumer credit is at a premium these days.
Perfume counter ladies are gangsta! I wanted a new fragrance and ended up walking away with two sets and ALL three free gifts they were offering that day and a few extra purse lotions and perfume samples.
So rather than do a stupid random song in the middle of the restaurant like most restaurants, the employees at Joe’s Crab Shack get to do a stupid random Cha Cha Slide in the middle of the restaurant. That dance looks soooooo different when 2520s do it.
Seafood enchiladas and Great Balls of Fire (jalepeno, shrimp and crab balls) are the business!
I need to remember that the next time I need a cameraman in the club to either ask a girl or a cute guy I wouldn’t mind flirting with. Made the mistake of asking some dude that just happened to be around and he ended up harassing me for a dance all night.
Drunkenly dancing back and forth between me and my home girl, and then cycling back through the rest of your friends, won’t get you either of our numbers.
I thought tonguing people down in the middle of the club was out of style.
Some people should really leave the club before they turn the lights back on.
I finally got my digital TV converter boxes, while it does make the picture clearer and take away the static you hear when you have a weak signal, instead you get a stupid pixilated screen and it makes it sound like everyone is stuttering.
The $5 DVD bin at Wal-Mart is the devil. Why can’t I stay away?
Popeye’s put all my favorites in a bowl and called it The Big Easy Chicken Bowl. I added a biscuit on the side and was in heaven. LOL.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
RSS Feed (xml)
