Pay to Play

I did some cyber stalking this weekend. Yea I know I talked about chick who cyber stalked Friendship and Fun through me, sue me. I never said I was above cyber stalking. I just don't go as far as contacting women I suspect are involved with a man I'm dealing with. I go directly to the source.

Anyway. My cyber stalking this weekend wasn't about trying to find out what someone was up to, but just to find someone. I quasi signed up for eHarmony (read: I made a profile, uploaded a photo, but couldn't bring myself to fork over the cash for the service). Well anyway I guess in hopes of getting me to part with my money they send me my matches. I can read all about them, but can't see their photos or communicate with them.

So I pulled out my cyber stalking/reporting tools. Myspace to the rescue! I tracked down this one guy looking up his first name, age, and location listed on eHarmony on Myspace. Comparing the personal information from the site, I pinpointed the guy, looked at his pics and decided he was cute. I sent him a message on Myspace explaining that I figured out he was my match, but I don't pay for the service so I thought I'd contact him this way. Besides eHarmony says we're a match, and he started the communication process with me, so I thought it was worth the risk. Then I realized something, dude's last log in on Myspace was in March of 2007. The potential love of my life was not likely to get this message anytime soon, if ever. What was I to do?

A closer look at his Myspace page yielded me his last name and a Facebook search granted me...contact information! People leave themselves wide open to this kind of stuff. I debated sending him an email, but thought it would look crazy to get an email from someone that shouldn't have your contact information. I mean sending a Myspace note is one thing, but an email? I'd be freaked out to get an email from someone who's not supposed have my email address. I called one of my male advisors. He doesn't answer. I reach out to another. He confirms that it is indeed crazy to send an email. I settle for adding him as a buddy on yahoo messenger, completely forgetting that yahoo alerts you that someone is trying to save you as a friend. SHIT! Five minutes later I get an instant message.

eHarmonyguy: hello
me: hi
me: i'm CocaColaCutie* your match on eHarmony.
eHarmonyguy: oh hey
insert his delayed reaction to realizing that I shouldn't have been able to "contact" him
eHarmonyguy: how did you know my messenger name?
insert my feelings of shame and awkward silence
me: long story
eHarmonyguy: indulge me
me: i hope you take this as flattery...

So I recounted how I had searched him and found him. He says that he's flattered and we continue the conversation. So we're chit chatting about what we're up to for the day. I should mention that in the midst of our conversation I kept getting disconnected from yahoo messenger. So he's like, you're having issues over there I guess that means you'll just have to come over. Damn it not another one of those guys. So I say "by come over you mean meet in a neutral place right." He replies, "if you need to." Then he informs that he's not looking for anything serious.

Then why the Fuck are you on eHarmony? GRRRRRRR. Why would you pay for a service (and I know he paid because he could communicate with me I just couldn't communicate back) that promises to "deliver matches that have the foundation of compatibility necessary for a lifetime of joy," if you are not, as he said, "looking for anything serious?" Why not troll for hoes for free on Myspace like most guys "not looking for anything serious"? Why infect the atmosphere at eHarmony, creating false hope? Boo to that guy. I wish there was some way I could get my local Congressman to regulate that, but I suppose that's more of a moral issue.

I just said thank you for letting me know and closed the match. Now I really don't have the motivation to give eHarmony my money. Not if that's what I'm going to be exposed to. I can get that for free.

*names have been changed to protect those involved, so what if it's just me.