I’m reading a book called, “How to Love a Black Man.” It’s written by a black man so I figured it must be good because who would know better how to love a black man than a black man.
So I’m all excited about the book. I’ve diagnosed what type of love substitute I most exhibit and have delved into how to combat it. I come to a chapter in the book titled, “Avoid All Game-Playing and Hidden Agendas.” It’s all about how sexual games, money games and power games are all bad and how you should just be upfront with your man. Ok. I can respect that.
Not even two chapters later the author tells me “Never Be Too Easy to Get.” What? Didn’t you just tell me not to play games? Now I’m confused. According to the latter chapter I should, “Gladly pick up the phone—but not on the first ring,” “Say yes to invitations—but not all of them,” “Speak freely—but don’t share every thought in your head.”
I get that he’s trying to help me not present myself to a man as desperate, but I still don’t understand how those actions do not constitute the power games he was just advising me not to play? Isn’t it all just a ploy to get the man to want me more because people always want what they can’t have? Wouldn’t that indeed make it a power game?
I’ve never been good at these kinds of things. If a guy I’m interested in calls and wants to go out with me why would I not accept his invitation? I mean I’m not going to go around canceling plans just to go out with some guy, but if I had nothing planned but sitting at home on my couch to watch DVDs am I really supposed to turn down his invite, knowing I really want to go, just to prove some point? Why does this make sense? The only thing this does is have me sitting on my couch eating Turkey Hill Party Cake Ice Cream hoping that whoever he called next that had the good sense to accept his invitation doesn’t ruin my chance at being with this man.
Male readers: step out from the shadows and comment on this blog because I’m genuinely confused. Don’t make me have to call my local Congressman to institute a draft for this!
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6 comments:
It's all part of the game. I agree that if he asks you out and your free you should go. that's just silly not to. I think the authors point was not to break your neck to spend time with him. don't make a dude your #1 priority or he may take you for granted.
I agree with super dave! but it would be silly not to accept invitations on grounds that you are playing hard to get. like you said, he'll just call another. best bet i think is to fill your schedule with lots of things. so if you are asked out, you have a choice in saying yes or no and not cause you just don't have anything else to do.
but i'm a fan of not playing games...question is...how honest and open is too honest and open?
Yea ms folk, I think so far its a consensus.. Books have very good intentions, however there always from (nomatter how broad or narrow) that persons point of view and their experiences and witnesses.. men will take advantage if comfortable, or like Dave say- if we see you breakin your neck (and it aint the "perfect" guy), we'd have em running like a chicken wit they head cut off.. Do you and let shit flow.. A dude will act the fool if he simple and he know you got options.. thats how you weed the dumb shit away! waddap?!-Q.
i c how your confused, i say, play the game until u got him where u wana b......great blog.=D
Men are retarded so no book is going to help us figure them out or get one it will only confuse us even more... I read books like that for kicks but never really change the way I date because of them
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