One More Reason to Love Barack Obama!

NFL is coming to town!
Oh yeah!
NFL is coming to town!
NFL is com-ing to tooooown….

Because my president is black. I don’t have a Lambo, but I’m still excited. LOL. I wonder if my local Congressman can get me one of those instead of those mules “we” were all supposed to get?

Anyway, NFL lives in New York (not sure if I told y’all that), but he has fam in the area so he’s coming for inauguration festivities. He asked if he’d see me while he was in town and of course I agreed!

That is all!

In the words of SuperDave if I reveal anymore it’s "bad mojo."

Hit y’all back up after the weekend!

Take ‘em Back Tuesdays: Recycled Professions of "Love"

Hey y'all! I bet you thought I had all but abandoned Take 'em Back Tuesdays huh. Well I won't promise any regular posts for this series, but it's Tuesday and I feel like the dust has settled enough on this situation to share.

So remember that love poem I got from Friendship and Fun?

Here's an excerpt for those who don't feel like clicking back.

ending one love
one warm hug
one prayer full of...
a solicitation for the emancipation
of the dreams you have on reservation
I wish God upon you
You've been patient
Today's the end of your waiting
Arise and be who you were created to be
Let's begin your celebration

Well in the most random of ways I found out two things: a. I wasn't the only one he sent the poem to and b. he was dating a mutual acquaintance as he was popping in and out of my life.

So here's what happened. The mutual acquaintance is an Innanet friend that recently moved to the area. In an attempt to widen my social circle I suggest that we hang out. So we exchange numbers to chat and figure out what to do and when and of course the subject of menz comes up. So she starts telling me about how she really wants to hang out in the city to see some chocolate eye candy because the pickins are slim in the area she's in--but that she's not really trying to date because she's quasi still in love with her last bf. So I'm like girl I understand completely and she starts telling me about the guy. No real details, just situations they went through.

She off-handedly mentions this poem he sent her--via IM-- and for some reason *women's intuition I suppose* it clicks that she's talking about the same poem I got from Friendship and Fun. Well I'll be damned. Her ex-bf and Friendship and Fun are one in the same! Hmm..now I wonder if that random ass candle he gave me the day he cleaned up my house belonged to her first?

I mean I knew that we all knew each other from a common Internet stomping ground, but I'd dismissed any thought that he'd actually poach two folk from the same spot. Foul. I didn't mention anything to her on the phone because I was mulling over what good would come from it, but after consultation with a few friends and listening to my conscious, I decided I had to tell her. I mean I'd want someone to tell me that a guy that I was quasi still in love with was foul. You know so I could really get over him.

So the next day I send her an email with the poem and explain that I had a feeling that we had been talking to the same dude. She IM's me and she's obviously livid--though not at me. Thank God for small victories! She confirms that it is the same poem AND dude. We compare time lines and discover that he started talking to us at the same time. I got out quicker than she did because I realized sooner that he wasn't serious about me.

*Shaking my head* I want restitution for all that gas money I spent driving all over the damn place to see him. Hmmm, I wonder if I can get my local Congressman to help me set that in motion.

But back to my original point, based on the way she described their relationship he was all in it--well as much as a cheat can be--with her. I was just the play thing on the side. She said she hoped I didn't mind that she busted him out over the situation. I said do you. I'd long put him behind me.

She later tells me that he admitted talking to us at the same time. The sad part is she said early on she asked him if he had anything going on with me and he lied and said no. She said he said he didn't know why he lied about me, but that he was sincere in all the things that he told her about their relationship. For some reason I believe him. But oh well.

Random Negro Stories File: The Wrap-Up

Wow I can't believe I haven't been on here in a couple months. Well actually I can. Every time I started to come on here and blog I'd just be like well maybe I should wait for this situation or that situation to develop a bit more before I tell y'all anymore of my business.

Well things are pretty chill for the moment, so I'm gonna do a Random Negro Story Wrap-Up, like Congress does when they're trying to get rid of a bunch of legislation all at once. You can thank my local Congressman for the idea. LOL. Brace yourself for a long one.

The Bison. He didn't make it past two months. Stood me up a couple of days before I left town to go to ATL for the holidays. Well we talked about it and he started talking some mumbo jumbo about subconsciously not wanting to do the things you have to do to really date someone so he had to go. I'm done with trying to make someone be with me. Been there done that and not only does that ish not work out well, but it left me with a slew of other problems I didn't need. I gave myself one day per month that we were talking to sulk.

Going home for the holidays as early as I did turned out to be the best decision I've made in a long time. My family kept me occupied from thinking about him and one day this crazy blue light appeared on my phone and in an attempt to save it I ended up losing all my numbers. Bam! Saved from any temptation to arguetext with him about how he was messing up the best thing that ever happened to him. LOL. Oddly enough yesterday he sent me a message on Facebook asking how I was doing. Hmm, barely a month out and he's trying to reconnect. I think that's a personal best for me. LOL.

While I was in ATL a girlfriend of mine came up to visit and we hit this spot called Utopia. Had a few Tokyo Teas (basically a melon Long Island) and partied the night away! It was great. So great we ended up going back the next week. The second time around was crazier than the first! I ended up running into some girls I went to high school with and met up with some friends from my alma mater and some of their phrat brothers. Enter The Line Brother, a former football player stature build of sexual chocolate goodness. Y'all! I had been lightweight lusting after this dude on the Internet for the better part of a year and a half, so when he showed up (and was seemingly unattached) I couldn't believe my luck!

*Ok. Let me give y'all some back story here. My friend, turned college bf, turned ex, turned friend, crossed Alpha in Spring '07. When the pics with The Line Brother started appearing on Facebook I commented to my friend that I thought he was really attractive. He said he'd introduce us but that he was already talking to another friend of his. So I kept my crushing to a minimum, but still finding myself biting my lip over his overall sexy whenever new Facebook photo's appeared.*

So my friend, turned college bf, turned ex, turned friend introduced us, but we didn't really end up interacting until my girl pushed me into dancing with him--literally. We ended up jumping off, because I knew that was all it would ever be keeping in mind that I was getting on a plane back to Maryland in two days. But sadly, and unbeknownst to me there were forces at work against this union. I later found out that my friend, turned college bf, turned ex, turned friend was opposed to it. Said he was hurt and disappointed by our lack of regard for what he may have thought about it. I told him I was sorry for hurting and disappointing him but I never thought that it would have considering he told me that he'd introduce us in the first place. So my friend, turned college bf, turned ex, turned friend and I are on a bit of a hiatus here.

So even though I was done sulking over The Bison, I wasn't done being bitter that I had made my travel arrangements based on thinking that we were going to spend New Year's Eve together. So I was back in Maryland with no particular plans but hoping that I wouldn't be sitting on my couch cursing his name. The night before New Year's Eve a good friend of mine from elementary school, who recently moved to the area, called me telling me about a pre-game NYE party at his house. I asked him what the main event was and he scrounged me up a ticket. Problem solved.

I had this banging green dress that I'd been saving for a special occasion so I didn't have to break my neck trying to figure out what the hell to wear. I paired it with these bronze stilettos, a golden/deep bronze ombre clutch, painted my nails a golden/sunset/sunrise orange, threw in some gold accessories and was ready to go. Only I wasn't going to get my dress all wrinkled up on my hellish commute into the city so I asked my friend if I could change at his place. He agreed. I made it out there and the party was in full swing. He made this outlandishly loud (I'm talking halt all conversation in the room) introduction of me. It was a bit embarrassing considering everyone was in their party clothes and I had just thrown on some tights, a sweater and boots.

Anyway I get dressed and rejoin the party and then my friend starts reintroducing me individually to everyone there. One of his closest friends, who I vaguely remember meeting a few years ago when I went to visit my friend in Philly for his 21st birthday party, takes a liking to me and I'm like this can't be happening two weeks in a row. (Yes you guessed it, my elementary school friend and I were an item for a hot minute in middle school. I really have to stop liking my friends--and their friends.)

The main event was a party at The Park, where they had a gourmet buffet and an open bar. We got there at like 7:30 and I was already tipsy from the pre-game. By this point NFL, which is what we'll call dude since he's a digital media manager for the NFL, and I have sorta paired off.
I fed him off my plate, we drank some more, danced, and somewhere in between there I ended up losing my phone, falling, gashing the hell out of my knee, and am placed in the drunk tank. Lawd. I thought I had vowed never to end back up there. I'll just say intoxication and stilettos don't mix. Anyway NFL is quite the gentleman and stays with me while they bandage me up and make me down like three bottles of water. At least it was Voss. LOL. Finally they let me back inside, we dance some more, kiss at midnight--after asking my friend like a thousand times if it was okay and end up leaving together shortly thereafter.

NFL had rented a room in my friend's apartment complex so we go back there. I remember getting undressed but I was on my cycle so nothing but some kissing and oral delights--for him--was going down. *TMI Sidebar Time: Giving head while you are dehydrated from being intoxicated is the hardest thing ever. I've been told at one point I was yelling "N--a I ain't got no more spit."*

The next morning we woke up and NFL was being all sweet saying stuff like me being the first face he saw of '09 was a great beginning. We kissed some more and talked and then we got hungry. He spent like 15 minutes trying to figure out where the hell we put my dress only for me to realize I'd look crazy as hell trying to walk out in search of food in that thing. So he got my bag that I came with from my friend's apartment and I changed back into my outfit that I had came over in. Eventually we found it in the closet. Really in that drunken state we had the presence of mind to hang my dress in the closet. Wow.

In search of food we ended up at Caribu Coffee to wait for about a half hour for Popeye's to open. For whatever reason we decided that fried chicken and red drink should be our first official New Year's meal. Yes I know coonery at its finest. So a Popeye's and 7-eleven run later, we go back to the apartment with Kitsch in hand, where his other friend and these two other girls had finally stirred. Later in the day I ventured back home, did a quick change and packed a bag for the next night. Once back in city I retrieved my phone from The Park, after everyone and their grandma told me where it was. God bless the bartender who found it and texted a bunch of folks in my phone so they could let me know where it was.

We all met back up to go bowling at Lucky Strike for one of my friend's friend's birthday. Afterwards we tried hitting another lounge, but nothing but The Park was open and most of us didn't really feel like going back there. So my friend, his quasi girl for the week, NFL and I get food at this nearby carryout, drink some more and play Rock Band into the night. Eventually everyone got tired and NFL and I went back to his room again, this time with a more favorable oral experience. LOL. The next morning he was checking out so I helped him pack his bag and we all went back up to my friend's apartment. I got dressed for the day, helped them clean up and by mid-afternoon people had piled back over to play Rock Band before we headed to Lauriol Plaza.

Here's where things get ugly. Apparently starting drinking at 1 p.m., continuing to drink margaritas and sangria at a Mexican spot, and keep drinking once back at my friends place is not a good look. I have no idea how I held it together to get into Jin, the lounge we went to after playing more Rock Band. But I couldn't have held it together too well because I later found out that I showed my ass (though not literally thank God!) and besmirched my good name with NFL. I've somewhat redeemed myself with him, but of course as my luck would have it he says he's not in a position to get into anything serious. So we're just flirting and having fun until my next Random Negro comes along.

If you're still reading this, I apologize for rambling on for so long. I'll fill you in later with more. Ciao and Happy New Year!

Weekend in Review: Random Thoughts

Hey Peoples! Hope you had a good weekend. Sorry I've been slacking on the posts over here. I'll try to do better.

Anyway here's how my weekend went.

I didn’t see The Bison this weekend. We went to a happy hour Thursday night and we spent the night together. He sent me to work with a smile on my face though ☺. He gchatted me this morning to say that he missed me. Awww.

Enterprise tried to act like they wanted my future first born just because I was using a debit card to rent a car. Bastards. I need my local Congressman to help revise that process since consumer credit is at a premium these days.

Perfume counter ladies are gangsta! I wanted a new fragrance and ended up walking away with two sets and ALL three free gifts they were offering that day and a few extra purse lotions and perfume samples.

So rather than do a stupid random song in the middle of the restaurant like most restaurants, the employees at Joe’s Crab Shack get to do a stupid random Cha Cha Slide in the middle of the restaurant. That dance looks soooooo different when 2520s do it.

Seafood enchiladas and Great Balls of Fire (jalepeno, shrimp and crab balls) are the business!

I need to remember that the next time I need a cameraman in the club to either ask a girl or a cute guy I wouldn’t mind flirting with. Made the mistake of asking some dude that just happened to be around and he ended up harassing me for a dance all night.

Drunkenly dancing back and forth between me and my home girl, and then cycling back through the rest of your friends, won’t get you either of our numbers.

I thought tonguing people down in the middle of the club was out of style.

Some people should really leave the club before they turn the lights back on.

I finally got my digital TV converter boxes, while it does make the picture clearer and take away the static you hear when you have a weak signal, instead you get a stupid pixilated screen and it makes it sound like everyone is stuttering.

The $5 DVD bin at Wal-Mart is the devil. Why can’t I stay away?

Popeye’s put all my favorites in a bowl and called it The Big Easy Chicken Bowl. I added a biscuit on the side and was in heaven. LOL.

Weekend in Review/Winter Bunning

Happy Monday peoples! I had a pretty good weekend.

Saturday I had to work from home to cover a press conference President Bush did after the G-20 finance summit. I wish I had been covering President-elect Obama though. Hmm…I wonder if I can get my local Congressman to try and push up the inauguration date.

So since I was working from home I took the opportunity to clean up a little do some organizing. Every time I start in on such a project I think to myself, man why I do I let it get this bad? I almost gave up and called in Clean House, but I don’t want them to make me sell my shoes and handbags.

Later that night, The Bison and I went to one of my male friend’s birthday party at Strike Bethesda. It’s funny how he agreed to go but on the way he starts asking all these questions about the nature of the relationship with myself and said friend. Wanting to know if we had dated or whatever, so he would know what kind of situation he was walking into. But what if I had been some trife girl and was taking him to some crazy, jealous ex’s party? I guess he trusts me.

The party was great. I bowled like a 47, but I felt like one of “them.” The girls I always envied for having their man around to take care of stuff. The Ones who all they had to do was show up and be cute. I could get used to this. LOL.

Speaking of getting used being one of "them", I swear, as the temperature dips so does male apprehension to bunning up—marking the beginning of Winter Bun Season. CocaColaCutie’s web dictionary—the abridged version—defines Winter Bun Season as the time of year characterized by high rates of boo/wifey up-dom. Generally begins at the first dip in temperature below 50 degrees Fahrenheit and marked by several changes in facebook statuses from “single” to “in a relationship.”

I swear collectively they are singing in their heads:

Oh the weather outside is frightful
But the fire is so delightful
And since we’ve no place to go
REMIX!
Let us bun, let us bun, let us bun.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Well maybe. Maybe I can get my local Congressman to push up the time for this season like they did with Daylight Savings Time. (Ha! Two local Congressman references in one blog! I’m on fire! LOL). If you’re normally single during this time of year like I am, you can expect to be hit with texts, IMs, and phone calls from Random Negroes looking to save on their gas/electric bills. Hmmm, maybe I should have thought about that before I paid that revised version of that gargantuan gas bill.

But seriously I swear my almost-taken status has only heightened Winter Bun Season for me. We haven’t even seen a hint of snow and I’ve already been hit up by a few former potential boos.

The Trainer hit me up apologizing for how things went down. He was the one that ended up dodging my calls and texts and then finally told me that he was kinda, sorta, maybe talking to his ex-gf. He was acting like he wanted to go out on Veterans’ Day, but I had to work. The Mason has been trying to keep himself in the mix. Last night he told me he was going to plan a weekend getaway for us. I won’t hold my breath.

You Betta Getchu One

I don't feel like boring you with mushy, gushy details of my weekend with The Bison, so instead I bring you a rare reflective post.

The first-family elect has brought to the forefront the endless possibilities of a strong black family unit. It’s encouraging to now hear my male friends say they are looking for their “Michelle” since my closest friends and I always joked that the easiest way to get wifed up was to not do anything with your life. It seemed that our “hot commodity” bachelor friends were always choosing unmotivated women—women with no passion other than to serve their men—as their mates. One by one they provided “proof” of our completely unscientific conclusion.

Now I’m hopeful that watching Barack and Michelle in White House will mean that black men will no longer be afraid to have a strong woman by their side. That it’ll be ok for as Neyo says to “love her cause she got her own.” (Special thanks to all the local Congressmen who lent their support to help them become the first family and an inspiration to all.)

This shift has brought about my own self-analysis about whether or not I am a “Michelle.” Would I complement a “Barack?” I look good on paper, but there’s more to mere professional accolades to being a “Michelle.” She has a style and grace that no Ivy League school could have cultivated.

I wonder am I strong enough on my own yet submissive enough to allow the right man to lead our future family and me? It’s a balance that the self-described “mom-in-chief” has gracefully achieved. She hasn’t given up who she is to let her man shine. Best friends for sixteen years, her light helps him shine. I’m sure he’d tell you that any day of the week.

So as I explore my romantic interest, I’m striving to be the best “Michelle” I can be and hoping that he’ll be my “Barack.” What I want is less about being that “Washington power couple” and more about developing a love that will stand the test of time and enable us to add another notch to the strong black family column that for so long has deteriorated. Ladies and gents as my bff says, “you better getchu one.”

At the Polls/Weekend in Review

Hey Blog Fam. I’m going to interrupt the regularly scheduled Take ‘em Back Tuesday to tell y’all all about my voting experience this morning.

Since I’m motor vehicularly challenged, I waited until the sun came up to walk to my polling place. It’s like around the corner from my house and I figured that even if I had to wait a while I wouldn’t complain because I was just going to go back home and get in the bed anyway. Still I wasn’t quite prepared to see the line wrapped around a part of the parking lot of the community services center that I didn’t even know existed. Folks were out there deep! Shout out to my local Congressman for getting early voting on the ballot. I hope people vote in favor of that joint so that I can choose when I want to vote next time. Still, if voting for Barack weren’t incentive enough then the folks at my polling place made my two-hour wait worth every second!

There were the “entrepreneurs” taking advantage of the captive audience. One man was out selling Obama t-shirts. One had “him” (and I say that loosely because whoever drew the template either can’t draw or confused Obama with Samuel L. Jackson) with a basketball in hand making a slam dunk. The other shirt he was showcasing had “Obama” in Tom Cruise stealth mode and it read Mission Possible. But the thing that got me was he was wearing a jacket with Obama’s rising sun symbol emblazoned with red, white and blue rhinestones. Black folks love them some rhinestones. That thing had more rhinestones than a Kimora Lee Simmons runway collection. Then there was this kid, who couldn’t have been more than eight or nine, walking around trying to rent this folding chair, a dollar for 15 minutes. Errrybody got a hustle. I wasn’t even mad at him. I didn’t give him no dollar, but I respected his gangsta. But I can’t lie the EBP in me made me cringe at the thought of being the mother of that child.

Then of course there were the bad ass kids that make you want to take two birth control pills, the shot and double up on the condoms before having sex. One little boy was swinging around one of those metal parking signs and busted his head. He was trying to act all hard like he wasn’t hurt but he stood his ass in one place after that. Shortly thereafter this lil girl busted her ass hopping on and off the sidewalk. I love when bad little kids hurt themselves. I be like, “Yes! That’s what you get! Now sit your lil bad ass down!”

Then there was the political banter about the candidates. How even though he was ahead in the polls Obama had to campaign like he was underdog. One lady was like despite the fact that he was raised by white women and went to all the “right” schools he’s still a black man. One-drop rule.

And as we made it inside the building folks were getting off their cell phones talking about, “Girl I gotta get off this phone. I’m not trying to jam up the machines. I want my vote to count!”

I love it. I hope everyone did their civic duty and went out and voted. If not take the time to do it and maybe you’ll get a few stories out of the experience.

On to my weekend. I spent more time with The Bison. He’s quickly becoming a “part” of my life. Thursday we did a late happy hour at Fridays and on Halloween we went party hopping. I was Lady Elvis. He’s not the dress up type so the most I could get him to do was to put on a black suit and be my “security.” LOL.

Here’s a couple of pics.


Saturday after we went to work he picked me up, we went to Macy’s. (He didn’t even mind pouring over the MAC counter with me), got some soul food at this place on U Street called Ooohs and Aaahs, and saw Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Hilarious! A must see I tell you! Sunday we lazed around my house. I made breakfast and we watched Friday. I had forgotten how much I like that movie. “I’m just gonna tuck mine in.” LOL.

And of course what would my weekend be without a couple Random Negro Stories. I was working from home on Friday waiting for the gas company to rectify my situation, when I logged into yahoo and was greeted by this message from Friendship and Fun:

ending one love
one warm hug
one prayer full of...
a solicitation for the emancipation
of the dreams you have on reservation
I wish God upon you
You've been patient
Today's the end of your waiting
Arise and be who you were created to be
Let's begin your celebration

This is me
lending myself
lending tears for life's cries
understanding for life's whys
comfort for life’s sighs
for hugs, I’m lending arms and shoulders
giving the muscles in between to help you with life's boulders
sending warmth when hearts around seem to get quite colder
you can borrow my legs when u need someone to run with you
We can serve together, I'll use my gifts too
when down, I'll lift you
there's nothing we can't get to
and sift though
This is me... always with you

I chatted with him for a while and he tells me that he’s interviewing for some jobs in D.C. and basically asked to crash with me for a while—talking about he wants to help me pay my rent. I’m like ummm no.

Then The Mason performed the reappearing portion of his disappearing act, trying to ask me out on date. I told him I already had plans and that he should have hit me up earlier in the week because a lady needs three days notice. He complained about the new “rules” and I told him that he—being a Republican and all—didn’t do too well in the free market and now it’s time to abide by the regulations. I told him that if history were any guide there would be a time for deregulation. But honestly I seriously doubt if I ever see him again. He’s too flaky and even if he weren’t I know he wouldn’t be what The Bison is—a true gentleman, opening doors, helping me with my coat, and taking out my trash, kissing me and randomly telling me I’m beautiful. Ok. Let me stop before this gets too mushy. What am I turning into?????